Dr I arrived, doing a wtf chant of her own. As soon as she got the emergency message, she immediately thought, I just saw that horse and she was fine. I just saw that horse and SHE WAS FINE. I JUST SAW THAT HORSE. SHE WAS FINE!!! She was also alarmed by my demeanor. I'm usually pretty optimistic, good sense of humor albeit a bit dry and sarcastic. Laughter is my defense, but that day it was gone. What had just happened sat heavily on me. There was no optimism, no humor.
I showed her the video and gave her all the information I could. What EB saw, what the boarder saw, what I saw. I also thought her mouth sores were back? Dr I spun her brain trying to think about what could have happened. Worried about Vesicular Stomatitis, she checked her mouth. Things were almost fully healed, she had just bitten herself at some point. Poor girl.
She continued checking Truby over, asking questions, trying to find out what could have caused this. Disease? No. We don't have EPM, the mostly likely cause, in Tucson. I reminded her we were from the East Coast, but no one back home had reported anything since we left. Even though it can lay dormant, there would have been many more signs before causing seizure.
Food? No. Just not even a possibility. Especially with every other horse at the ranch being fine. Weeds? Maaaybe? I mentioned a particular weed Truby always wants to grab when I have her out. It was unlikely, but Dr I sent me out to get a sample. Growing up, I often went out with my dad, an entomologist and tree/plant guy. So many times I had seen him striding out, to a place only he knew of, to go find a plant or bug or whatever. I felt just like him, an image from my childhood, as I went out looking for a weed in a place only I knew.
Turns out it was just a harmless whatever, besides, the amount a horse would need to ingest of most poisonous weeds, and the timeframe...unlikely.
And on and on. Trying to find a reason. Anything and everything was discussed. All the while, Dr I was checking Truby, who stood so exhausted I thought she had been sedated. (She had been given a steroid). Once I realized she hadn't been sedated, I grew even more worried. She was so, so tired. Dr I checked for neurological issues. Everything with her face and head was great, but there was some concern about her back legs. Was something wrong...or was she just super sore and tired? It was hard to say.
In absence of a reason, we just decided to treat her with heavy anti inflammatories and IV fluids. Dr I was worried Truby might not think, or be aware enough, to drink. Thankfully she was able to swallow normally. EB said she hadn't had much to drink that morning. We guided Truby over to a good spot, and started her IV.
Ever the best horse, Truby stood quietly for the catheter to be placed. And then it was time to discuss the elephant in the stall.
Truby...wasn't there.
While she was awake and responsive to stimuli, she wasn't Truby. She wasn't anyone. Her eyes were vacant. There was no personality there. Truby wasn't home.
We waited.
Truby had shown interest in her hay, so I brought her net over. She started eating steadily. But not like Truby eats, shoving her head alll the way to the bottom of her net, creating a tight funnel of hay. Diving down, then coming back up to look around while chewing. This time she just ate the top layer. Mechanically, nonstop. Chew. Chew. Chew. Chew. Chew.
Eating was good though. She had burned a ton of calories and needed to replenish. Dr I and I chatted about nothing, she trying to distract me, me trying to be distracted. The IV flowed easily, and the sulphurous, bitter garlic smell of DMSO began to waft around us.
After awhile, Dr I decided that Truby was unlikely to seize again. The only thing to do would be to wait. let the medications do their job and wait. She gave me instructions for flushing the IV line, feeding, what to watch for, and to check in that afternoon. She would come out tomorrow, but I should call her if anything went wrong.
I stayed the rest of the afternoon with Truby. Just sitting with her, talking sometimes. Telling her what a great horse she was, how much I loved her. The fun things we had done together, how much she meant to me. Promises to love her no matter what. But please come back. I loved her so much.
I have a family member with a seizure history, and we texted a bit. She told me what it's like for her. How the feeling of dread or fear right before a seizure is normal, but during...she doesn't know what's happening. It's not scary, and she never remembers. She said afterwards she might feel cloudy and sleepy. She might not feel like herself for awhile. It passes. It helped a little.
Another boarder was out, arriving right after the vet did. Afterwards, she came over and offered company and compassion. She works in end of life care, and is a very gentle person. I appreciated her kindness. She offered to go out and get me lunch. I thanked her, but said I would go to the Circle K nearby once the fluids finished...I needed to get away for a minute. She completely understood. And when Truby finished her fluids, I unhooked her, flushed the line, and left her to her methodical eating.
I had been at the ranch for hours, with no water, not having had breakfast, and badly needing a drink. I stocked up at the gas station, and finally broke down crying on the side of the road. Hydrated but empty, I returned. Fellow boarder was still sitting with Truby, telling her stories when I returned. I was grateful she stayed, singing little songs and being with Truby. She drifted off and I sat with Truby again. Eventually I did my therapy session in her stall. Thanks to Covid, I no longer do in person therapy, instead we usually FaceTime. This time I simply called her, and began to try and process what had happened. I was drained by this point. We ended early, I was too tired, too worried.
I checked in with the vet, fluids finished, Truby had been eating almost nonstop. She walked over and got a drink twice. I drove home for dinner and an attempt at a nap. That didn't work, and I went back out to give her some extra grain for dinner, flush her line again, and sit with her. I sang her the song that finally broke me earlier. Finally, I went home and fell into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.
Truby's mouth continued to heal and she seemed happier than ever. Sure, not a fan of the oral rinses, but all she would go would be to walk to the back corner of her stall and wait for me to catch her, lol. Poor sweet pony. Too agreeable to be naughty! Treats afterward always help.
Thursday morning I was lazing around in my jammies, enjoying my day off and not having anything on my to-do list. When the barn owner called, I didn't even go into anxiety mode, obviously she was just calling about a possible ride to the vet for our Con-Ed adventure.
Nope. Not even a little.
Apparently Truby had collapsed twice and I really should get over there.
I told her I was on my way, and changed into real clothes while calling the vet. Told them I had a Truby Emergency but wasn't really sure what was going on, just that she had collapsed? and would call with an update as soon as I got there. While I was talking to them, one of the boarders called, she had seen Truby collapse and wanted to make sure I was contacted. She sounded pretty freaked out and told me she'd wait for me.
To be honest, I wasn't terrible worried at this point. But as I got closer to the barn, dread set in. I became absolutely convinced today would be the day I euthanized Truby.
I never talk on the phone while driving, but on a desert road, trying not to drive too fast, I called our BFF Jena, even though she hates calls, to ask if she could meet me at the barn. Just in case.
I parked near the Grey Horse Pod, and was greeted with Truby's usual whinny. O-kaaaay. That sounds fine? Walking into her stall she seemed ok. The boarder was watching her, and told me what she saw as I began checking Tru over. She had be working her horse in the arena and happened to see Truby fall. She laid down for a few minutes, then jumped up, kinda bounced around for a minute and then fell again. She said it looked like the HYPP attacks her old horse used to get. And while Truby has some Quarter Horse in her, none of it's even close to HYPP carriers.
American Paint Horse, with some QH on her papers.
No HYPP
Other than breathing a little shallow and quick, Truby seemed fine. I thanked the boarder profusely and told her I'd update her later, she could totally go on with her life, we were ok. I called the vet and told them things seemed pretty ok, but since something weird had happened, I still wanted her checked out that day if possible, but probably not an emergency.
So I was hanging out, allowing my panic and fear to recede. Watching Truby resting in the sun. Watching her walk a few feet into the corner of her stall. Watching, amused, as she reached down to rub her nose on her ankle. Watching, and realizing the angles were all wrong. Her head was turned oddly and rigid at her neck. She was reaching down, just past her foot...and just kinda stuck there. It was super weird, so I grabbed my phone and started to take pictures.
And watching as a look of horror and fear came over Truby's expression. Like something scary was creeping up on her. I quickly switched to video, and she began trembling all over. She began crouch, her head jigging between her front legs. Back rigid, all of her muscles quivering. It looked like she was trying to lay down but fighting it hard.
Then she twisted her head to the outside of her front legs, and off balance, tried to catch herself but stepping over with her back. And then she started spinning. Her entire body was either completely rigid or trembling and shaking. As she begun to spin faster, I stopped recording to try and keep myself safe, and keep her from crashing into the fence.
After what felt like forever, but was less than a minute, she finally stopped. She had been able to avoid falling, and stood exhausted, head down, confused.
EB was in the stall next to us, and we shared a long, horrified look. I immediately emailed the video to my vet, and then called them. I told them I don't know what exactly just happened, but I sent them a video and I needed a vet WTFNOW. Realizing something Very Bad was happening, they had Dr I just finishing an appointment and would send her ASAP. 30 minutes. They'd forward her the video.
That done, I focused on Truby. She was still. I gently stroked her and talked to her. Told her Dr I was on the way, she loved Dr I, and she always made Truby feel better. She'd take care of her and everything would be better. Of course. Of course Dr I would make it better. She'd be here soon.
EB and I caught each other's eye again, and he told me that that's exactly what had happened earlier. He saw the whole thing. Using the most English I've ever heard from him, and some pantomime, he relayed the stiffness in the neck, her head. The shaking and spinning. Just that this time she hadn't fallen. Triste. Sad. She had looked sad afterwards. Yo entiendo. I undersand, I told him. My spanish is far too limited, but I was able to understand what he was telling me.
He continued to clean stalls, keeping a worried eye on Truby, taking his time to stay nearby. I texted my work. Truby Emergency. I wouldn't be in tomorrow. Cancel all my appointments, if anyone has a problem tell them to fuck right off. I almost never call out of work, so they knew it was bad. Most of my day was regular request customers, who had no problem rescheduling, and sent best wishes. One was new, and bitched, and was told, politely, to fuck right off.
I was freaking out, obviously. I sent the video to our farrier, desperate for someone to talk to. I'm sure she was either trimming horses or driving to her next appointment, but texted with me, helping to pass the time. Finally, I heard the vet pull up.
This year has been Monsoon CRAZY! We ended up with the third wettest monsoon season since recording began, with something like 13 inches. I could get the exact total, but I'm too lazy. This was my first year getting to experience a real monsoon season, and it was pretty great. It's hard to explain just how fast, and how instense, a little bit of rain gets out here. Mega big time runoff. It boogles my mind how an inch or less of rain can transform into the raging washes, but it sure does!
15 minutes of rain and this usually dry mini-wash is roaring
The downside of a good season is it's humid AF. Not as hot as usual, low 100s, but humid. By the end of August, everyone, especially the horses were tired of the weather. It had been too hot, too humid, too buggy (SO buggy!!) and we were tired of it.
So when Truby seemed a bit grumpy I assumed it was just being done with the weather and needing a break. And a good massage. During her massage, she started licking...and chewing...and...foaming?!
Kinda weird
I thought maybe she got some fly spray in her mouth, and gave her a good rinse. Then a few days later, I got caught at the barn by a intense storm. Heavy, hard rain. Hail. Strong winds. Flooding. It was crazy! Horses did not mind, not even a little. I watched them dozing through the thunder. And once it finally started to pass, they woke up and went back to their hay.
Hail!
Playing with her carrot ball to wait out the rain
Turnout area was flooded
I popped a couple of carrots in Truby's carrot ball toy, and noticed she started getting foamy again. What the heck?! Was there pesticides on the carrots? I rinsed her mouth again. And, since I was completely head to feet soaked through, decided to go home.
Went the long around to avoid this dude
A couple days after that, I was giving Truby her hay pellet soup, and noticed she wasn't right. The angle of her head, the way she was slurping...it just was slightly off. So I did what I should have done a week and change ago, and pried open her mouth and took a look.
Awwwww :(
She had a couple little sores, in places she couldn't get them from biting herself. No idea where she could have gotten them from. But I had a horse get into some foxtail and it was BAD. I set up a vet appointment so we could see what was going on. Of course, by the day before, the little sores I could see had almost completely healed. But scared by the Foxtail Incident, I keep the appointment.
Time to get HhhhiiiiIiiiigh
Truby got a ton of cookies while we chatted about what was going on (Truby's adorable and loves snacks, so she always gets cookied.) Then Dr H had to rinse her mouth a few times, because someone had a ton of cookie crumbs. She got a light sedation, just enough that we could get a good look without anyone losing a finger by accident.
OUCH
Poor Truby had a mouth full of sores, cuts, and assorted ouchies. Luckily everything was already in the process of healing. But still, poor Pretty Princess! No wonder she had been acting lackluster. Best we could figure is that she got a random patch of prickly weeds in her hay. Our hay is usually fabulous, but sometimes weeds happen. And in Arizona, of course it's gonna be prickly.
In addition to checking her hay for weeds, Truby would get a rinse of chlorohexidine every day. We got to talking about her ulcers, and I mentioned what a magic bullet sucralfate was for her. Dr H lit up and we added in a dose of sucralfate being split into an oral rinse and ingest the rest. This helped her comfortable level so quickly it was incredible. Love that stuff!
Dr H was mentioned the vets would be doing some continuing education, and looking for horse volunteers. They got a new scope and would be learning how to do gastroscopes. When thinking up who might be a good candidate for scope practice, Truby's name came right up (lol, sob). Would I like to bring her in and get a free scope? HELL YES I WOULD! Let's do it!!!!
So by the time Truby finished waking up, we had a plan for her regular fall shots/exam that Saturday, and then in two weeks to be the Continuing Ed volunteer.
Rolly, rolly, rolly
The next day, Truby was already feeling so much better. Sometimes I wonder if I make up what a special personality she has. Maybe she's not the super cute, friendly, magical unicorn I think she is.
Nope! She totally is. She was just feeling bad. A few rinses, a little sucralfate, and a break in the weather brought back my super cute unicorn.
is perfect unicorn
While I felt kinda shitty for letting almost 2 weeks go by before thinking "maybe something is actually wrong", I'm glad I finally figured it out, and had the vet come out and check her. Horses always seem to find the most random things to hurt themselves with!
A few days later, my vet had a mini vaccine clinic at the ranch. Truby and I walked around, enjoying the cool breeze and gentle sun until it was our turn. We met up with Dr I, and Truby got her shots and cookies. Other than recommending a little more weight across her topline (we've been working on this All Year), Truby was in great health. Dr I was especially tickled by her sparkly hoof boots. We've been rocking our sparkle boots due to some rain induced thin soles.
Trust me, they're sparkly!
I tucked Truby away, happy knowing she was happy, healthy, and healing. Her mouth looked great. Her vets love her, and Truby always enjoys hanging out with people. The weather was beautiful. All was well with my little world.
So a lot has happened since my last post. Truby got winter ulcers for the first time since moving to Arizona. It took me longer to catch on than it should have, but she only had ulcer problems the few years we lived in Pennsylvania (fair play, Tr00bs, PA gave me ulcers too) and she's not a huge fan of Bermuda hay. Not eating forage is her Big Tell her stomach hurts, but I missed it because she'll eat her Bermuda, but it's also normal for her to be picky sometimes.
She lost a ton of weight (approx 125 lbs) by simply NOT EATING ANYTHING OMFG PLEASE EAT I DON'T CARE WHAT JUST EAT SOMETHING.
New Year's Eve she came down suddenly and dramatically with a high fever. Because everyone loves holiday emergencies, right? Luckily our vets are awesome and Dr H came out right away and helped Truby feel better.
Truby's "Everything hurts and I'm dying" Pose
The best pony for tubing
And as suddenly as she fell sick, she got better. None of the other horses had any problems. We did send off some test samples, but nothing showed up. HORSES.
So with all this going on, it was easy to ignore the falling standard of care by the barn owner and her staff. But it was there. And as much as I tried to ignore it and make up for it, I finally decided it was time to move on. This was a far harder decision to make than it should have been, but finally, finally I decided we had to go.
Since Husband and I had the amazing luck to be moving ourselves, I set up Truby to move a few months down the line. After all, moving is stressful, so let's move one thing at a time, right?
Nope. I stopped by the barn one afternoon and found that instead of feeding Truby "one or two handful" of hay pellets our friend said she was feeding her in the afternoons, she was being given pounds of barely moistened pellets and a bunch of flaxseed. Um. When I asked (nicely)WTF was going on, I got verbally attacked. By someone that had been a friend. Deceit and lies for weeks, then spewing vitriol at me. At least I knew why Truby had been suddenly colicking all the time.
Tummy hurts, would like to die pls
I moved her the next day.
I'm still, more than 6 months later, having a hard time with what happened. I won't go into details here, but it was bad, and it hurts.
New barn owner was surprisingly calm when I called her and asked if I could move Truby ASAP. Sure, a stall was open, move whenever you want. She was totally not concerned by the fact that I was basically hysterical, and was willing to let the crazy person with the skinny horse move in.
Nothing is quite as embarrassing as showing up unexpectedly with a noticeably underweight horse at a new barn. And having to admit that no, I didn't just pick her up at the kill pen... But I was met with kindness, and Truby settled in right away. In fact, as soon as I hung her haynet, she put her head in and start munching away. New barn owner said she's never had a horse settle in as quickly and easy as Truby.
Custom made dino sugar treats
I really like our new place. First of all, it's called Cloudbase, and the boarders are called "Cloudies". How is that not the best thing ever?! I love it. It's a very, very nice place and the care is absolutely top notch. The other boarders are all friendly and nice, but I haven't been trying to make any close friends, in a once bitten, twice shy way. Although we do have a couple of good barn buddies already. The horse caretaker is amazing, I swear he has a spreadsheet of each horse in his head. He knows all their habits and makes notes of anything even slightly different.
Very happy to have her treat ball in her new stall
The first super hot day of summer, Truby had a minor colic, and it was caught immediately and I was called immediately. You may have noticed, but Tru's super dramatic about any illness, but recovers quickly, and this was just the same. Not having to worry and wonder how long she'd been sick is such a relief.
IT SNOWED!
So while change is often hard, Truby and I made some changes. Life hasn't been perfect, but I don't have to worry about the quality of care, or if someone is even around to notice a problem. As another change, Husband and I moved out of the apartment complex and into a house. The friend we rode with a couple times, L and Dixie (who also boarded at Cloudbase) moved out of state, but didn't want to sell or rent to strangers. I told her she'd easily get more renting it out to someone else, but if she could stay in our budget, we'd rent. And she could, and we did! We're in a slightly different part of town, and Truby is a little further away, but it's a nice, quiet neighborhood, a comfy house (it has a fireplace!) and it has a POOL! This is the best thing to survive a Tucson summer. Nothing beats coming home, hot and sweaty and jumping right into your own pool. We are so, so lucky to have the opportunity to live here and it works our for everyone.
We have amazing sunsets to the west
Looking east, we get a great view of incoming storms
