Hi! I'm Truby. Do you have *cookies*??
A few days after her seizures, I started seeing little flashes of Truby. A glance at where her treat ball used to hang. The press of her muzzle against my hand. Finally, a whinny when I walked over to her stall! My family member suggested that familiar things would help draw her out, so I made a point to give her all her favorite cookies (do I stock at last 4 different types and flavors of treats at all times? Totally.) I rehung her treat ball and put carrots in it every day. I brushed and loved on her. We went for slow walks around the ranch, and looked at roadrunners, cactus, and the distant horizons.
Who doesn't like to nap in the sun next to a giant metal chicken?
And slowly, but surely, Truby came back. It's now a full month later, and I can assure you, Truby is 110% herself again! She's sweet, she's a little silly. She's my magical unicorn, and my Prettiest Princess. She whinnies every time I arrive at the ranch. She begs (politely) for cookies. She can walk in a straight line, and knows where her feet are.
This would be her Tinder profile pic
But while Truby came back in leaps and bounds, I remained stuck. I was so worried about Truby, that I couldn't get out of my own trauma response and was shut down and numb. Work, oddly, was the hardest. I couldn't do my usual light hearted banter with the clients. Grooming was fine, but I just couldn't find my usual chatter, and felt lost professionally. Who was I if I couldn't be the friendly person people liked to talk to? If I couldn't joke and talk with (or without, to be honest) my customers? I didn't mind at home so much, but losing my professional personality was hard.
My therapist suggested I do for myself what I did for Truby. Love and time. And it worked. I too came out of hiding. I'm not as adorable as Truby, but I returned to myself as well. And every time I'm at the barn, I'm grateful. I realize how lucky I am to have Truby in my life.
Other than a brain tumor, we have no idea what caused the seizures. They haven't returned. Everything is fine. I don't like to think that Truby has tumors in her brain, so I decided the whole episode was caused by Mercury being in retrograde. I'm not hardcore into astrology, but it's fun as a distraction. And I'd much rather think that a stupid planet was ruining my day rather than a brain tumor. And for now, I'm trying to not think of it at all, and just enjoy my cute little grey horse, Truby!
My best girl
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