Mini Vacation

 Recently we went on a mini vacation. It was amazing and desperately needed! Bisbee is a cute little artsy/touristy town less than 2 hours from Tucson. Originally a mining town, it has some nice historical things to check out, as well as fabulous food, window shopping, a generally quirkiness to enjoy. 

This was our first visit, and we had no real plans other than relaxing and drinking Mexican Mochas. Highly successful with both! I'd been apprehensive about leaving Truby, she's had a hell of a year health-wise, but I'm glad I did. I know she's in good hands and constantly monitored, plus I asked our barn buddy A to give her some soaked hay pellets and cookies every day. A is an amazing horsewoman, and nothing gets past her eagle eyes!

Copper Mine - Lavender Pit

One evening we were eating passion fruit cheesecake and watching Men In Black 4, when I got a text from the barn owner. It simply said "Angel isn't doing well, call me". Now, Angel isn't my horse, but she lives next to Truby. I thought I'd better call just in case she mixed up the names by accident. When I called her, she launched straight into "well, Angel isn't doing great, EB said..." I waited for her to finish, and then asked "But, Angel,  not TRUBY, right?" There was a long pause, and then she said "I'm gonna call you back!"

Literally me, and I don't even have wine

A few minutes later, she called back, totally embarrassed. She had the right horse, but her brain immediately connected "sick grey horse" to "Beth". I laugh about it, but I'm also crying. She apologized several times, but I just laughed and told her no worries, I'd recently heard from A before the text/calls and knew Truby was okay. I thanked her for the laugh and wished Angel well. 

I'm grateful for the timing - had I not heard from A first I might have freaked out a little. (HA, I would have definitely freaked out a lot!) As it happened, I got a good laugh and got to finish my cheesecake in peace. Truby was great while we were gone, and sulked for two days when I got back. Mares are so dramatic! Oh, and Angel is fine too. Apparently she was super mad about a change in hay, speaking of dramatic. 

Just living her best life

Trying Something New

 

Birthday Smooches

with our BFF massage lady

Our BFF massage therapist has been out for awhile with some health issues, so it's been a few months since Truby's last massage. With just time, and then everything she's been through recently, I noticed her looking a little stiff and sore. A couple times I've looked around for a new bodyworker, but ugh, It's so hard! My stress level has been turned up to 11, which didn't really help my motivation. 

Luckily, after a late afternoon walk on the Loop, I saw one of the other horses wearing a BEMER blanket. Since I'm clever, I asked the person in the stall in she was a bodyworker, and when she agreed she was, I told her I'd put Truby away and then come back to ask her some questions if she didn't mind.

She didn't, and after chatting a bit, we set up an appointment. I warned her Truby can be restless and impatient, but is never mean. She was unconcerned and said she could definitely work around that. 

Super cute in her therapy blankie

She started by just hanging out with Truby and making friends while I gave her Truby's history, which has been exciting recently (facepalm). She carefully eased the blanket on and let her cook. Truby didn't mind it at all, and happily munched her hay. Afterwards, she gave Tru a thorough massage, checking all over. Truby mostly just kept eating, but occasionally needed to walk off a bit and process. She was less fidgety than I thought she'd be. 

The report was good: some soreness in the major muscle groups, but not anything unusual or concerning, she just needed a little massage to loosen it back up. She was impressed with her range of motion, and thought it was excellent for an older horse. There wasn't a dramatic before and after, in my opinion, but there isn't always. Truby was happy, and moving nicely afterward. New bodyworker was fun to be around, and she was great with Truby, the most important thing! She was much more expensive than I'd hoped, but it was okay to try out the BEMER technology and try someone new. She was totally understanding with us having a regular person I hoped to stay with, and didn't seem bothered that we might not stay with her or be frequent with appointments. I definitely appreciated that! 

I hope our BFF massager is able to continue taking care of Truby, but it's good to know there's someone we can rely on! There's another person I have bookmarked to try maybe in a couple of months. So I'll revisit that later, depending on how Truby is feeling and how BFF massager is doing. 

Flippity floppity ears

Truby Comes Home

 

Hi! I'm Truby. Do you have *cookies*??

A few days after her seizures, I started seeing little flashes of Truby. A glance at where her treat ball used to hang. The press of her muzzle against my hand. Finally, a whinny when I walked over to her stall! My family member suggested that familiar things would help draw her out, so I made a point to give her all her favorite cookies (do I stock at last 4 different types and flavors of treats at all times? Totally.) I rehung her treat ball and put carrots in it every day. I brushed and loved on her. We went for slow walks around the ranch, and looked at roadrunners, cactus, and the distant horizons. 

Who doesn't like to nap in the sun next to a giant metal chicken?

And slowly, but surely, Truby came back. It's now a full month later, and I can assure you, Truby is 110% herself again! She's sweet, she's a little silly. She's my magical unicorn, and my Prettiest Princess. She whinnies every time I arrive at the ranch. She begs (politely) for cookies. She can walk in a straight line, and knows where her feet are. 

This would be her Tinder profile pic

But while Truby came back in leaps and bounds, I remained stuck. I was so worried about Truby, that I couldn't get out of my own trauma response and was shut down and numb. Work, oddly, was the hardest. I couldn't do my usual light hearted banter with the clients. Grooming was fine, but I just couldn't find my usual chatter, and felt lost professionally. Who was I if I couldn't be the friendly person people liked to talk to? If I couldn't joke and talk with (or without, to be honest) my customers? I didn't mind at home so much, but losing my professional personality was hard. 

My therapist suggested I do for myself what I did for Truby. Love and time. And it worked. I too came out of hiding. I'm not as adorable as Truby, but I returned to myself as well. And every time I'm at the barn, I'm grateful. I realize how lucky I am to have Truby in my life. 

Other than a brain tumor, we have no idea what caused the seizures. They haven't returned. Everything is fine. I don't like to think that Truby has tumors in her brain, so I decided the whole episode was caused by Mercury being in retrograde. I'm not hardcore into astrology, but it's fun as a distraction. And I'd much rather think that a stupid planet was ruining my day rather than a brain tumor. And for now, I'm trying to not think of it at all, and just enjoy my cute little grey horse, Truby!

My best girl 

Mercury in Retrograde: Part 4

 

7 years ago in PA

Friday morning I was greeted by a nice grey horse. She was eating methodically, and otherwise seemed ok. She stood quietly while I did medical stuff, flushing her line, rinsing the cut on her lip, checking her vitals. She quickly ate her grain and bute, then back to her hay. All good things, but completely devoid of personality or a spark. 

Less than 24 hours since her last seizure, maybe I should chill out. The bedding in her stall looked extra rumpled, but like she had struggled to get up, rather than something more sinister. Later that day, when Dr I came out for a check, she agreed. She was still very sore, and possibly had difficulty because of the catheter in her neck. Fair enough. I forgot to mention in my last post, but the day of the seizures, she listed hard to the right when walked. She had been unable to walk straight at all, instead pulling hard to the side. Today, she was able to walk straight. She was still hesitant to put her hind feet down when moving, but not as bad, and Dr I felt that was due to soreness, more than a neurological issue. 

She passed all her facial checks, and generally was a-OK physically. We did some bloodwork, which came back unremarkable. There was no hint as to a cause, but also she hadn't damaged anything in the process. 

Dr I was pleased with her progress, but I fretted over her missing personality. She reminded me it had only been a day...give it some time. I mulled over what my therapist had asked me the day before: what would it mean if Truby didn't come back? What would it look like?

And I guess not much would change. I certainly wouldn't get rid of her. I would keep and care for her like always. I would still love her. But I would mourn her. It wouldn't be the same, and my life would be a little duller, a little less. But I would still remember my friend, and hope she might return. I had thoughts about changing her name. Also...it had just been a day, I could try being patient and wait for her. 

She was cleared for normal horse life. I would just keep on eye on her and hope for the best. I decided to use the word "hiding". Truby wasn't gone, she was hiding. It was hard to think that she might be lost inside her mind, or that what had happened was so traumatizing she needed to hide away. But that word was easier for me. Hiding was easier than 'lost' or 'gone' or 'vacant'. Hiding meant she could come back when she was ready. 

Pink Swat: universal sign for 'I know my horse has an injury'